Erotic Sex Positions - Part 1
Filed Under Incest
If you want to learn the techniques, first, you have to notice what your orgasm reflex is. Just observe it a few times (ten or more times) and pay attention to how it works. (You might want to do this while masturbating, as it could prove distracting to a partner.) Especially, notice that there is a brief moment at the onset of orgasm when you are consciously aware that it is about to occur but it has not yet become inevitable.
That’s where you will later spend your time. In the typical orgasm (both male and female) there are 8 to 25 muscular contractions. Women may have more than men; how many you have will vary at times. Get to know how many contractions you usually experience. (For instance, my usual number is 18-20; it’s never fewer, but sometimes more, and that has not changed in 30 years).
Now, rather than “suppressing” an orgasm, try to let one or two contractions happen and then relax. If you can learn to let one or two waves of orgasmic contractions occur and then relax by breathing slowly, and being attentive, and letting your abdominal muscles go limp (NOT by trying to think of something else to “distract” yourself), then you can learn to repeat this over and over again.
Imagine yourself at the edge of a wave of pleasure, a wave which does not break over and run onto the shore. You can practice this with a partner or while masturbating. It’s easier with a partner, because he or she can hold you at the wave-edge, gently changing position and thus slowing you from going into the stage of involuntary pelvic thrusts you have been trying to “suppress.” While you are learning to ride the wave-edge, take turns with your partner.
As one of you rides the wave of bliss, the other acts as a “lookout,” keeping the wave-rider from falling into the undertow of orgasm. When the wave-rider reaches saturation and relaxes, you trade roles. During the course of one sexual encounter, you may trade roles often, for an hour or more. You may also rest (in a semi-detumescent state), and begin again later if you like.
When you and your partner become attuned to one another, you will no longer think about who is riding the wave and who is guiding; the roles will blend and mesh and you will both simply “be” there. That is basically the “secret teaching” of tantra. Sometimes, while learning these techniques, the lookout partner becomes suffused with a feeling of personal power, knowing that he or she can cause the wave-riding partner to have an orgasm, simply by making a slight gesture at the point when the wave-rider is letting go and relaxing.
More to cum…
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