Masterbation
Filed Under Incest
Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of one’s
own genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure. It
is done at least occasionally by a majority of both men and
women.
In one recent national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent
of women reported having masturbated. It is the first overt
sexual act for the majority of men and women, although more
women than men engage in sexual intercourse before they
ever masturbate.
A Common Sexual Behavior
Most men who masturbate tend to do so more often than women,
and they are more likely to report always or usually experiencing
orgasm when they masturbate (80 percent to 60 percent respectively).
It is the second most common sexual behavior (coitus being
first), even for those who have a regular sexual partner.
Most childrenoften from the time they are infants onwardfind
the occasional stimulation of their genitals sensually
pleasing, but do not come to understand this behavior as
“sexual” until late childhood or adolescence.
During adolescence, the percentage of both sexes who report
masturbating increases dramatically, especially for
males. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood,
and many do so throughout their lives.
No Physical or Mental Harm
The term masturbation conjures up many myths about its
damaging and debasing nature. Its negative images may
be traced as far back as the word’s Latin origin, masturbare,
which is a combination of two Latin words, manus (hand)
and stuprare (defile), thus “to defile with the hand.”
The built-in notion of shame and uncleanliness implied
by the defiling portion of the word has remained in the modern
translationeven though medical authorities have been
in agreement for some time that masturbation causes no
physical or mental harm. Nor is there any evidence that
children who engage in self-stimulation are in any way
harmed by it.
The fact that this important source of sexual pleasure
is still regarded by some with guilt and anxiety is partly
due to ignorance of the fact that masturbation is not harmful
and partly due to centuries of religious teaching that
it is sinful.
In addition, many of us have received negative messages
about masturbation from our parents or have even been punished
when caught masturbating as children. The cumulative
effect of these influences is usually confusion and guilt
that is often difficult to sort out. About the only time
masturbation can be harmful is when it becomes compulsive.
Compulsive masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors,
is a sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed
by a mental health specialist.
So, contrary to ancient and popular beliefs, masturbation
does not lead to unbridled lust, does not make you blind
or deaf, give you the flu, drive you crazy, grow hair on your
hand, make you stutter, or kill you. Masturbation is a natural
and harmless expression of sexuality in both men and women
and a perfectly good way to experience sexual pleasure.
Masturbation May Improve Sexual Health
In fact, some experts argue that masturbation improves
sexual health by increasing an individual’s understanding
of his or her own body and of what is erotically pleasing,
building self-confidence and fostering self-acceptance.
This knowledge can then be carried forth to make for a more
satisfying sexual relationship with one’s partner,
both through each partner’s comfort with mutual masturbation,
and because of the ability to tell each other what is most
pleasing.
It is a good idea for a couple to discuss their attitudes
about masturbation and to calm any insecurities a partner
may have if the other should sometimes favor masturbation
over sexual intercourse. In some relationships, masturbation
may be mutually acceptable. Done alone or in the presence
of a partner, the act can be pleasing and add to mutual intimacy
if it is not experienced as a rejection. Like most behaviors,
without proper communication, the act of masturbation
can be used as a sign of anger, alienation or displeasure
with the way the relationship is progressing.
Overcoming society’s negative stereotypes and one’s
personal feelings about masturbation can allow men and
women the freedom to explore and experience their own sexuality
in a private, satisfying manner. One word of caution: in
keeping with the practices of safer sex, masturbation
with a partner can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse,
as long as you avoid contact with your partner’s semen
or vaginal fluids, especially if you have any cuts or open
sores.
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