A handy list of things every sub should NOT do
Filed Under Incest
A handy list of things every sub should NOT do
Sing ‘Happy Birthday To Me’ and blow out the candle
during wax play.
Draw a picture of an open hand on your ass. Then draw a red
circle
around it. Finish up by putting a slash through the circle.
(should
turn out to be the international no-spanking zone sign)
In the middle of an intense cropping, close your eyes and
start to
snore.
During a scene, do a Howard Cosell impression and provide
a play-by-
play account of what is being done to you.
If your Dom/me tells you to ‘Look me in the eyes’,
do it cross-eyed.
If your Dom/me decides to do a verbal humiliation scene
with you in
public, stick your fingers in your ears and say ‘Neener,
neener,
neener, I can’t hear you!’
Decorate your Dom/me’s leathers with oil painted
neon polka dots and
stripes.
Place a whoopee cushion on your Dom/me’s favorite
chair.
Use the toybag for dirty laundry. Forget to switch the contents
back
before the next play party.
Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning
of a
scene. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then call out
your
safeword.
When getting flogged, start singing ‘This is the song
that never
ends…’
Become a sarcastic practical joker.
Learn a language your Dom/me doesn’t know and then
speak only in
that language when you are together.
Become prone to incessant giggling.
If you’re trussed up and ordered to count, inform your
Top you can’t
do it unless you can use your fingers and toes.
Have a wig made up matching your hair color and style perfectly.
It’ll be worth the expense to see the look on your Dom/me’s
face the
next time your hair gets tugged and it comes off.
Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered (like in figure
skating or diving)
When your Top hints at foot worship, hand him/her a package
of
OdorEaters.
If you take a message for your Top, write it on a post-it and
stick
it to your rear.
Tell your Dom/me a better way to do whatever it is being done
to you
at that moment.
Learn the following phrases:
Get off your lazy ass and do it yourself! What do I look like,
your
maid? This isn’t a restaurant. In your dreams! Who
died and left you
boss? I don’t think so! Homey don’t play that game.
Yeah, right!
Use them as often as possible.
Only speak in movie quotes.
Give your Dom/me a massage while wearing a joy buzzer.
Send your Dom/me an invoice for your services.
After a particularly hard blow, pretend to pass out. When
your
Dom/me checks to see if you’re OK, jump up and yell ‘Gotcha!’
Go in the toybag and superglue the nipple clamps shut.
Ignore your Top until he/she utters the magic word.
Starch the floggers.
Whine.
Urinate in the dungeon and in the toybag, claim you’re
marking your
territory.
Attach clappers to all the outlets in the dungeon just before
a
paddling. (Clap on, clap off…)